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New Escape Artist Mike Reimer AND An Update on Current Escape Artist Christian Mott!

NEW ESCAPE ARTIST MIKE REIMER!

Good day, folks!

Today, I’d like to introduce you to Escape Artist Mike Reimer!

Mike Reimer was the inspiration for the chain poem “Mike Rhymer, Private Eye” which I started on this blog a few months back.  However, Mike is not only the inspiration behind a really cool fictional character, he is also a bona fide writer himself.  No, he doesn’t write hard-boiled detective stories (at least, not at present); but he is, in fact, working on an exciting fantasy adventure that he calls “The Hell of Horazor”.  The story follows a young lady with mystical abilities who is forced to flee from her home to avoid capture by the minions of a ruthless wizard.

I’ve had the distinct privilege of previewing the first 100 or so pages of his latest draft, and I’m definitely hooked.  Unfortunately, Mike doesn’t yet have a website set up to keep us posted on his progress, but you can visit his Facebook page by clicking here.  Send him a message to let him know that inquiring minds want to know more!

UPDATE ON ESCAPE ARTIST CHRISTIAN MOTT!

As if the introduction of a new Escape Artist weren’t exciting enough, I also have some intriguing news about Escape Artist Christian Mott’s latest project, formerly entitled “Dark Side of the Moon”.   I got word just a couple days ago that there has been a title change.  “Dark Side of the Moon” is now known as… “Ambivalence”.   How cool is that?  At first, I couldn’t decide whether I loved or hated this new title, but I can safely say that I am now totally psyched and I can’t wait to find out what Christian has in store for us!

Of course, as always if you were part of Christian’s close circle of friends (i.e. those who joined his Facebook group page), then you would already be in the loop on this exciting news.  Why don’t you go join right now???

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Just FYI….

I know that all of you are waiting with bated breath for the next great post from The Bean Counter.  In the meantime, if you haven’t already, why not kill some precious time by exploring all the awesome submissions that have already been posted by The Bean Counter and other Escape Artists?  Of course, you can simply scroll down to see older posts, OR you can use the handy-dandy Categories links to the right to jump to previous posts that may interest you.   Even if you’ve been with me from the beginning and caught every post, you may want to re-visit some of your favorites, and the Categories links is an easy way to track it down.   You may even find one that you missed!

Also, don’t forget about the links to other Escape Artists’ websites and contact info,  if you want to know what’s currently happening in the life of your favorite Escape Artist (besides The Bean Counter, of course)!

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Chain Story – “Fear Itself!”

Hi folks,

Long time, no see!  Where you been keeping yourselves?  Haven’t seen you around lately!  I… oh wait… um…

So I’ve got another chain story for you!  This is another one that was inspired by an idea from Escape Artist Christian Mott!  Please feel free to take the story in any direction you wish, but as usual, silliness and a PG rating are very much preferred.

I call this one….

FEAR ITSELF

You ever have one of those mornings where you wake up with a terrifying feeling that something horrible has happened?  Like maybe somebody has broken into your house and covered your entire floor with globs of peanut butter?  Or maybe you forgot to go to the store for milk, and the only thing you have left to pour over your Cheerios is your last can of Dr. Pepper?  Maybe the something horrible hasn’t happened yet, but it’s going to?  Maybe when you go to turn on the shower, you get sprayed with tomato juice instead of steaming hot water?  Maybe a herd of giant purple bunnies is waiting to attack you and chew your head off the minute you step outside? 

You ever have one of those mornings?  Yeah, I thought so.  Me too.  In fact, this was precisely one of those mornings.

Fortunately, there was no sticky peanut better impeding my path to the bathroom, and the shower dispensed clean and clear hot water as usual.  By the time I had sat down at the breakfast table with my Cheerios and milk, I was beginning to chastise myself for letting my imagination get the best of me.   But then I flipped on the TV to check out the morning news, and that’s when my earlier feelings of trepidation were validated….

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Question of the Day?????

So I pick up the ball and throw it to Naturally?

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Chain Story: What a Wanderful World!

Good day Fellow Writers!

Got another chain story intro for you.  This one comes courtesy of an idea by Escape Artist Christian Mott!  Would love to know how you think this story is going to turn out!  As usual, feel free to take the story in any direction you like.  Just try to keep it silly and try to keep it PG!

I call this one….

What a Wanderful World!

There’s nothing better than being seventeen and cruising down a deserted stretch of road on a sunny Sunday afternoon—convertible top down, sunglasses on. It’s even better when your favorite song is playing on the radio because you can turn it up as loud as you like without bothering anybody. Ever since I obtained my driver’s license, I’ve always enjoyed getting out of the big city on the weekends and exploring all the back roads in the surrounding area. Yeah, some people say it’s dangerous to wander into unfamiliar places, but I’ve always been a glass-is-half-full kind of guy. Anyway, wasn’t there some poet who expounded on the glories of taking “the road less traveled”? Besides that, I’ve always had an uncanny knack of finding my way around unfamiliar territory, even without a map. So I’ve never been afraid to wander around aimlessly just for the fun of it.

On this particular Sunday afternoon, however, I had a certain destination in mind. I was headed toward a friend’s boathouse on the bay in a small seafarers’ community just south of town. I’d been given some very explicit, detailed directions to follow, and I was sticking pretty close to them, even though I had already passed a dozen tempting side roads. The exhilarating thought of getting out on a boat and sailing into unknown waters (unknown to me, anyway) kept me focused on my mission.

Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, I became confused by my friend’s directions. I began to feel disoriented. It almost felt like I was driving in circles, perhaps even heading back toward town. The longer I followed the directions, the more certain I became that the directions were leading me the wrong way, so I eventually gave them up. Yes, perhaps, I was a little too easily convinced to give up following the directions, but I knew if I just kept meandering in a southerly direction, I’d eventually hit water.

At any rate, the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. As soon as I broke free of the shackles of my friend’s poorly written directions, I came to a dirt road on my left with a sign posted at the entrance that read “NO TRESPASSING” in large, hand-painted letters. So, naturally, I turned onto that road….

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Chain Story: Barry’s Plan!

Hello folks,

I finally started thinking about starting my taxes but decided to write this chain story intro instead.  I’d really love to know how you think this story is going to turn out!

Barry’s Plan

“Honey, are you sure this is going to work?”

Hope studied her husband Barry as he gazed blissfully out the window of his study at the blue, cloudless sky. She then looked back at the pile of late bill notices, foreclosure warnings, and other dismal financial statements that covered the nearby desk. She sighed loudly.

“Trust me, sweetheart,” Barry responded, blithely. “I know what I’m doing.”

Hope continued staring at her husband, who seemed hypnotized by something outside the window that she could not see. She seriously began to wonder if it might be time to search the phone book for a good psychotherapist. After some time, Barry finally broke his gaze and glanced around the room.

“Where’s our children? I want to call a family meeting and announce my plan for getting us out of this mess.”

“Faith is upstairs watching American Idol episodes that she Tivo-ed,” Hope replied. “I believe Destiny is on her computer, supposedly doing homework but probably tooling around on her Facebook page instead.”

“Let’s call them.”

“But, Honey, I really don’t think–”

“Sweetheart,” Barry smiled confidently at his wife as he gently laid a hand on her shoulder. “Call them.”

Hope sighed again but went off to get the children. In a few moments, she was back, and they were all gathered together in the small study. The two girls, one sixteen and the other ten, looked up at their father expectantly.

“Kids,” Barry began. “As you well know, we’re having a little financial trouble. We’re way behind on several bills, including our house payments. The fact is things just don’t look good right now. But, I have a plan.”

Barry paused for a moment for dramatic effect.

“From this day on,” Barry announced, importantly. “We’re going to spend as much money as we possibly can.

The kids continued listening, becoming more intrigued by the moment. Hope struggled to keep from rolling her eyes.

“Faith, I’m going to see what I can do about getting you your own credit card, one with a $100,000 credit limit, so that you can buy whatever you need. Destiny, as of right now, your allowance will be increased from $10 to $100 per week.”

The girls’ mouths dropped open but then formed into silly grins as they looked at each other. Hope started to say something, but Barry waved her off.

“I haven’t forgotten about you, sweetheart,” Barry said. “I’m going to buy you everything that you ever wanted, everything that you deserve–fur coats, jewelry, expensive perfume—the best money can buy—“

“But—“

“I’ve got it all thought out. I know we already have a second mortgage on the house, but there are plenty of charitable people out there willing to help a family like us. When that dries up, I’m sure Mr. Chang next door will be willing to give us a loan, if we put up our home as collateral.”

“Hmmm,” Hope said, uncertainly.

“Now don’t worry your pretty little head about it anymore, sweetheart. I want you to go out to the stores right now and start picking out new furniture and housewares to replace all this old ratty stuff we have now. Also, you may want to start looking for a new car and a new TV and–“

“Honey,” Hope interrupted. “With all this expensive stuff that we’ll be buying and accumulating, don’t you think we ought to invest in a security system for the house?”

Barry thought for a moment, then turned to his wife with a smile and confident wink.

“Nah,” he said. “I don’t think we need to worry about security. That won’t be a problem. Just trust me.”

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Chain Story: The Amazing Lizzy Schniggleboppin!

Hello Folks!

Got another chain story for you!

This one comes courtesy of “Escape Artist” Christian Mott.  Everybody get your thinking caps on and help Christian finish this story!

(As always, your entry can be as long or as short as you like and you can go in any direction you want, but try to keep it PG!  Thanks!)

THE AMAZING LIZZY SCHNIGGLEBOPPIN

 

“Get them off of me! Get them off of me!”

Peals of laughter echoed throughout the school cafeteria as a young girl unexpectedly jumped up from her seat at the lunch table and darted out of the cafeteria, yelling and screaming and shaking her arms violently. When the children sitting next to her at the lunch table were later questioned about the incident, they said that she was just sitting there eating when, all of a sudden, she glanced down at her arms, gasped with horror, and asked “Do you guys see this?” right before she jumped up and made her dramatic exit.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time I had seen Lizzy Schniggleboppin.acting totally weird. There was another incident that occurred during class, when Lizzy was reprimanded by the teacher for talking out loud… to herself! We were all just sitting there listening to Mr. Gallaher drone on about fractions, when Lizzy suddenly broke out into a pleasant conversation with an empty desk next to her. When Mr. Gallaher finally got fed up and interrupted Lizzy to ask her about her bizarre behavior, she explained that she was simply introducing herself to the new girl in class and wanted to make the girl feel welcome at the new school. This, of course, resulted in a dumbfounded teacher, snickers from other classmates in the room, and an embarrassed Lizzy….